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Multilingual histories

In search of myself

By May 21, 2018July 11th, 201963 Comments6 min read9,239 views

This week is Library and Information week (#LIW2018). Library and Information Week aims to raise the profile of libraries and information service professionals in Australia. What better way to celebrate libraries and the people who work there and to show our appreciation than to participate in the Language-on-the-Move Reading Challenge!

The theme of #LIW2018 is “Find yourself in a Library”. The book I read in the category “a memoir of an adult migrant and language learner” describes exactly that: a refugee in search of his past and his future. The public library is one place where this refugee finds solace:

It has become my habit to gather together a small store of provisions, some biscuits, chocolate, an apple or two, and repair each morning to the reading room of the Public Library. There I lose myself in long dead time and not rouse until the shrill, too early summons of the closing bell. This way of living is extremely economical. […] I have discovered that a moderate hunger increases both sensibility and concentration. It is not a new idea. Since the times of the monkish visionaries fasting has been the essential preliminary to revelation. The library is my monastery. (Natonek, 1943, p. 124)

The author, Hans Natonek (1892-1963), was a refugee from the Nazis and the public library he refers to is in Manhattan. Hans Natonek arrived in New York in 1941 after having been on the run for almost a decade. One of the foremost literary critics of Weimar Germany and a well-known social critic and author, Natonek had fled Germany for his native Prague in 1934. As the Nazis conquered more and more of Europe, he had to flee again; first to Paris, then Marseille, which became a trap for many refugees as the Vichy regime handed them back to the Nazis. Natonek escaped and managed to cross the Pyrenees into Spain and was finally granted a US visa in Lisbon.

Hans Natonek and Anne Grünwald in Arizona, 1950s (Source: Arts in exile)

By the time Natonek arrived in New York shortly before his 50th birthday, the loss of his previous existence and the long years of constant danger and insecurity had taken their toll: “Flight softens the morale. To escape is to arrive nowhere. Escape is a negative, a fallacious rescue. Every fighter knows that. We are all fighters.” (p. 68)

In his memoir In search of myself published in 1943, Natonek asks what his refugee status means for his identity: he considers himself cut off both from his past and his future. His former language and identity have become meaningless and he feels disconnected from the language and identity options valued in his new environment.

For a writer, professional identity and language are inextricably linked and both have been taken from him: “A writer! Am I still one in point of actual fact? Tell me, then. What is a writer without a language and without a past? He is a mechanical absurdity, a piano without strings.” (p. 17)

Natonek tries hard to reinvent himself in English, even as he bemoans the difficulty of doing so at the age of 50.

I love my own mother tongue, but I recognize with sadness that separated from the soil in which it roots it must wither. It cannot be artificially maintained. The mother language does not transport nor grow nor bloom under alien skies. It is, at best, no more than a memory to be used on occasion to recall a friendship or another life. (p. 158)

Unfortunately, Natonek discovers that the growth of his English is in no way proportionate to the withering away of his native German and his beloved French. In fact, despite all his strenuous efforts to improve his English, he had to write In search of myself in German and leave the translation to his publisher.

It is not only the loss of German that throws Natonek out of balance. It is also the loss of prestige and professional standing. In America Natonek discovers a thoroughly materialistic culture that has no patience for intellectual pursuits. While he tries hard to adapt, he cannot get himself to accept the prevailing “jobism” as he calls it. He feels that everyone expects him to move on, find a job, make money and be happy; but Natonek insists on his right to grieve for his lost life and for his home engulfed by disaster.

They are unanimous in exhorting us to bend every effort toward the rapid adaptation of the American point of view. Waste no time in dalliance, they advise. Get busy. Forget the past. Embrace the new. It is the only way to demonstrate a decent gratitude. I am not exactly clear why I so stubbornly oppose this theory of rapid adaptation linked to the theme of gratitude for rescue and asylum. My soul rebels against it as a child rebels against forced feeding. An approach to living, a point of view on life, cannot be changed as abruptly as a lantern slide. I am not one of those worms which may be cut in two and go on living. Life flows like a blood stream from the past, through the present, into the future, and what a man is, is the result of what he has been. (p. 95)

In America, Natonek finds, work that is not profitable counts for nothing. While he is refused a small loan that would enable him to concentrate on finishing his book manuscript, he is offered a loan to start a small business. Bitterly, he scoffs: “Apparently there were too few beauty parlors, too many books.” (p. 157)

Some healing ultimately comes from books and he rediscovers a part of himself when he finds that the New York Public Library actually holds copies of the books he had published before having had to flee Germany. Even more astonishing to him, the library also holds a copy of a book written by his grandfather:

Beyond the handful of my own poor records I saw a single card. It bore my grandfather’s name. It was as though he spoke to me in love and confidence from out the past. (pp. 125f)

In search of myself is a moving account of the refugee experience. Its poignant message of loss and destruction but also the healing power of ideas is as important today as it was in 1943.

Given how topical the search for language and identity is in our time, I would wish the book a new generation of readers. Unfortunately, the book has been out of print for a long time. No copy is held in any Australian library and none seems to be on sale even in the vast world of e-commerce.

I had resigned myself to not being able to get my hands on the book when I discovered that Google had apparently digitized the book in 2007. So, I asked Macquarie University Library to trace the digital version for me. Amazingly, they got me an actual copy through interlibrary loan instead.

Being able to hold this wartime copy (“There are many more words on each page than would be desirable in normal times; margins have been reduced and no space has been wasted between chapters.”) in my hands has been a privilege I am grateful for. And that is another reason why #LIW2018 matters and why we all need to appreciate and support our libraries – for ourselves and all the other seekers who find solace there. #findyourself

Further reading

Reading challenge

Libraries

Ingrid Piller

Author Ingrid Piller

Dr Ingrid Piller, FAHA, is Distinguished Professor of Applied Linguistics at Macquarie University, Sydney, Australia. Her research expertise is in bilingual education, intercultural communication, language learning, and multilingualism in the context of migration and globalization.

More posts by Ingrid Piller

Join the discussion 63 Comments

  • KyKy says:

    There are hundreds of thousands of refugees and asylum seekers undertaking perilous journeys across land and sea, cutting themselves off from their closest friends and family for unknown lengths of time and moving to countries they have often only read about or seen in movies. Refugees are often asked to leave behind old cultural and social behaviours. Personally, even if you speak English with an accent, you are speaking in English and you are contributing to society and your accent is part of you. You can’t lose yourself to become a part of someone else.

  • Nguyen Thien Duyen Ngo says:

    When reading the article, it makes me feel so sad when Natonek had to give up his own language like giving up his identity. But It is an interesting journey for him to learn and gain the new identity with the new language. In addition, it is great to see the support of the library by connecting people to the multicultural world. It is good to learn and adapt to the new environment and its culture, but it is essential for one to maintain his own culture and identity.

  • Rochelle says:

    It is fascinating to read this article about Natonek; know the roots and grounds of where you come from – knowing your mother tongue and remembering your ancestors hardships in life. Reading this made me think of what my dad used to say to me, ‘know your roots well and learn your mother tongue well especially Hainanese (dialect). This article represents a sad nostalgic belonging that one may have for their “roots” and culture so that this will be passed down to the later generations. I agree with tting that Language not only tells us who we are but where we are from as well.

  • tting says:

    It is true that some immigration has lost their home language and original culture. The relationship between Language, Culture, and Identity Culture and language shape one’s identity and personality. There is much importance of culture and language to one’s individual identity. Language is a powerful instrument of identity and belonging. The difference, however, is the environment in which each individual grows up and the language to which he/she becomes accustomed to. This creates identities of a certain culture and language, differing this person from another. Language tells us not just who we are but where we are. We understand things, events, ourselves and others through a process of interpretation, which occurs in language.

  • Fern says:

    Fern

    The blog post explores the loss of a previous existence of a writer who never comes to find himself in his new land.
    Reading Lolita in Tehran of Azar Nafisi is a memoir of similar loss , although of not a refugee nor with a language barrier , as she writes and used to write in English. We can still see ‘the worm cut in half’ situation where one half is struggling to nostalgically cling to a past life which has ended and another struggling to make new beginnings. I believe, that as much as the writers find a niche in writing to bemoan their lost selves, their readers too find refuge in this storytelling. Michelle De Krester’s Miles Franklin award winning novel ‘Questions of Travel’ made me immerse myself in an experience of home, Sri Lanka, where the writer has left when she was fourteen. It is nostalgia, of no returning to a past that is no more, but also a more needful space, where migrants find refuge in their reluctance to cross cultures.

  • Xinyue Ji says:

    Libraries as an independent place enables people to establish identities. For instance, people can build identities through languages, reading and so on. When I read books in the library, it always reminds me of my Chinese university and find a sense of belonging. libraries gives me chances and hopes to live and study in Aus.

  • Anas says:

    Reading the article was like reading a narrative in which, you, Prof Piller, is the main character in search of a long lost treasure. I felt my heart jumped with joy when you said ‘Amazingly, they got me an actual copy through interlibrary loan instead’. What joyous, glorious news. I myself sometimes wander through the library and look at the year a book was published. Jordan is a country full of history, dating back to Paleolithic period, and I suppose, somehow, looking at books and the older they are, the more I wonder about that particular time of history. Who read the book? What were their aspirations in life? Where are they now? Do they remember the book? Has it taught them anything? Going back to the focal character in your article, Natonek, I am particularly intrigued by his remark of the loss of prestige and professional standing when he moved to America in his 50s. I realised nothing much as changed as when first arrived in Australia, I took a taxi. The cab driver, from India, was an accountant in his country but his qualifications were not recognised here and he didn’t have the money to obtain the necessary paperwork here. Another taxi driver from Pakistan, an engineer, had the same issue. I wonder how many more migrants, especially those who migrated here at an older age, experience the same dilemma as Natonek? In the end, as he found solace in the library and the fact that a copy of his earlier work and his grandfather’s work were kept in the library, I do hope the migrants around the world, will find the library a place of contemplation and rest. #looseyourself – in the library.

  • xqx says:

    This article has indicated that books benefit people to construct identity in a multicultural context. A line with the author, the library is a place where provides multiple subjects to assist individuals in building their own identity. In addition to establish personal knowledge systems, people can also take a real relax in the library because individuals can freely to concentrate on the aspects which they are interested in.

  • Cami says:

    When reading this article and thinking about how Natonek lost his identity when giving up his language, I was really struck by what a powerful contributor language is to identity, purpose and power. Conversely, gaining a new language is also broadening and gaining a new identity. Partially gaining a language while living in a new country is like partially finding yourself.

    I remember when I first lived in Japan, in my early 20s I often felt like a 6 year old because my language was so limited. Later on a Japanese friend read an article that I had written for the school magazine and remarked that she was really surprised by how well-written it was. I realised that she had only ever heard me speak Japanese and so all she could know about me was all that I could express in my limited Japanese. I also remember when I lived in Poland, for the first few months I just sat like a rock, silent and uninvolved in all of the conversations that I tried so hard to understand. Even though the people were nice, there were no connections, not much emotions or joy conveyed and I even felt like my brain was growing duller…But when I learnt the languages of the countries that I lived in, it meant that I didn’t use English and as my vocabulary withered away, and ate away at my ability to express what was in my thoughts the way I wanted to, my English identity shrunk away too. Reading and reflecting on Natonek’s experiences made me more sympathetic to the plight of people who had come to Australia and struggled with English.

    I also looked on the internet to find other people’s experience with language loss and identity loss and I felt like this poem really expressed the loss of connection, culture and family ties that people migrating to a new country experience.

    L-a-n-g-u-a-g-e Loss
    Alyza Garcia

    A loss in language has cost me my last goodbye
    Lost is my native tongue in the process of assimilation
    Gone are parts of my identity during my journey in immigration
    What I had as a child, fled like small sparks of ember
    I have lost my roots in the chaos of colliding worlds.

    I did not fight it, but I sure as hell regret it-
    my loss of language, my loss of communication
    to the place where I came from,
    to the people who raised me,
    to the culture that gives me an identity.

    I subconsciously acquiesced to the-
    w-o-r-d-s, the p-h-r-a-s-e-s, the s-e-n-t-e-n-c-e-s of the English language
    Without protest, I adapted to the structure of letters, the foundations of grammar,
    and the composition of the English speech

    I have lost my roots in the chaos of colliding worlds.
    I was not able to balance two realities on the palms of my hands
    So one existent matter dominated the other
    Soon my indigenous vocabulary was replaced with something I still find foreign
    To this day, the distortion, the unevenness of these two worlds of past and present
    Has left me lost in the abyss of being in between

    A loss in language has cost me my last goodbye to her.
    The moment I had my last chance to hear my grandmother’s voice
    I hurt her with the silence of refusing to talk to her over the phone
    I refused to speak with her because
    a wave of guilt and shame crashed
    and washed me away from her.

    I lost the ability to speak the same language that we both shared
    We no longer spoke with the same tongue.
    So in some ways we became strangers
    And that’s what hurts the most.

    The next phone call from my home half way around the world,
    My Lola could not even ask to hear my voice
    She no longer had the ability to utter words of love,
    or any word, in that matter.
    Because her eyes had shut and her soul had rested.
    I lost my roots in the chaos of a loss in language
    And it has cost me my last goodbye with my Lola.

  • Nidhi Dhir says:

    As indicated by this article, looking for myself, Hans Natonek’s life presents impact on identity by living as refugee in other place where language as social practice is influenced. Natonek as migrant struggled because of getting uprooted from his native place. Apart from using English as second language in America, to certain extent, library helped him as a gainful place to achieve social and language assorted variety by teaming up with neighborhood individuals, particularly multicultural residents. Natonek wrote his new book in the New York Public Library. At the end, an individual can explore his identity through education and the dialect itself as they are interconnected

  • yym says:

    Library as an independent and closed place is beneficial for individuals to escape from the real world even themselves. For example, they can devote oneself wholeheartedly to the books and explore the secrets without any interfering. I can understand Natonek’s words because he regards the library as the place where he can get a complete relaxation.

  • Siyi Wu says:

    It is true that library can provide identity to someone. When international students move into Australia, they need more time to suit for the culture and to understand the language, which causes that they lose their identity. For example, international students must to stay in an English environment. They cannot speak their mother language. So, libraries can provide identity obviously to them.

  • Tamanna says:

    This article expresses authors of identity. It tries to show how books can help a person to make an identity. According to the writer, library can help to create this identity specially in the multicultural context. And in this modern era, technology is playing a great role in making the identity.

  • Nana says:

    I share a feeling with the author when referring to certain lost of identity when I have to write in English. There are many similarities between English and Spanish, but at the same time there are many differences. One is that in Spanish you can use many words to express an idea while in English it is more concise, you go straight to the point. I have noticed that when I have a great idea for my writing assignment, then when I try to translate it into English it becomes shorter and kind of simple for me. That is why I miss my language when I write in English and it is a lost of identity in some way.

  • Kim says:

    The story of asylum seekers is always touching for me personally because living in such a situation might not be easy. Although eventually, Natonek was able to find the missing pieces of his previous life and makes a sort of a happy ending for the story, the fact that he struggled to adapt with the new realm was undeniable. As an international student who is a Muslim and has many rules of the religion to obey, and who has been used to live in a convenient society where Islamic attributes and facilities are everywhere, coming to Australia was also quite challenging, especially in the first few months for me. However, apart from the ups and downs, Natonek and I might have benefitted from moving to a new country in so many ways and occasions through hard work and willingness to move on. For instance, he became the author of a phenomenal book ‘In search of myself’ and has become of the world’s treasures, and I might have knowledge and experience I would gain from my study that I would be able to share to the people in my community.

  • Yan Yan says:

    On one hand, according to Harris and Taylor (1997), Saussure believes that languages are the instruments which enable human beings to achieve a rational comprehension of the world in which they live. He thinks that reality is depending essentially upon our social use of verbal sighs which constitute the language we use, and that words are not peripheral but, by contrast, central to human life. To me, language is an inner strength, an identity and a memory. These books and records are the flowers of memory.

  • Hasnahana says:

    Language is the main equipment to establish someone’s identity and the library can be a great place to reduce one’s identity crisis as well as refresh mind. It also broadens our thinking and persona with the cultural and language diversity.
    From the perspectives of the writing, we have a deep feeling that for a person, mother tongue is not only a medium of communication but the existence. It is not that easy to adopt the different culture though finally, the narrator can coop up with the situation and it happens with us all. The library and technology are like the blessings to change the situation though.

  • AN says:

    ‘The mother language does not transport nor grow nor bloom under alien skies. It is, at best, no more than a memory to be used on occasion to recall a friendship or another life’ – this phrase definitely hits home. From the time I arrived in Australia six months ago, I have not uttered (or written) a word in my native language, Tamil – where now I face a lot of the ‘tip-of-the-tongue’ moments when I speak with family members on the phone that I often resort to speaking in English instead. A common experience indeed, among other international students who arrive in countries where their native language are not as widely spoken. Interestingly, this sheds light on how our identities evolve as we continuously adapt to our ever-changing environment, and how libraries are vital in the preservation of languages, culture and identity from the past and present, for the future – since words are immortal after all.

  • AzPc says:

    To find yourself in the library is an interesting concept for me. I do love reading books,usually 2 books per week, and I do love going to bookstores and libraries during my spare time. One of my favorite libraries in Sydney is the Library of Parramatta, it is amazing! When I first arrived Sydney two years ago, I felt a bit sad because I did love reading Chinese books and Japanese books. At that time, I thought there are mainly English books in the libraries of Sydney. Luckily I find thousands of Chinese and Japanese books, there are so many sessions and collections of other languages books in the Library of Parramatta. It did help me to go through the difficult period in Sydney, and the books reduced the feeling of homesick.

  • Ssw says:

    This is a very touching article itself and Natonek’s story is also very moving. According to me, a person who loses himself has nothing left. No professional identity, no language, may be no future, too, especially for a man at his 50s. Books written in people’s own languages when they are away from their home countries become the useful tool for them to continue living their current lives, or, in other words, to find themselves in a different community.

  • yy says:

    I am really in fond of reading this blog because it reflects the relationship between language and identity. Besides, it makes me reminds the essential role of libraries and preserve a culture, and history because it allows us to access a variety of works of minds and recognize our true selves as well.

  • Sirin says:

    “I love my own mother tongue, but I recognize with sadness that separated from the soil in which it roots it must wither. […] The mother language does not transport nor grow nor bloom under alien skies. It is, at best, no more than a memory to be used on occasion to recall a friendship or another life.” – Also with sadness, I could particularly relate to this quote from “In search of myself”. I was born and raised in Germany, but have Turkish origin. I feel very fortunate to know both languages, however, I always felt torn between both cultures, not really understanding my true identity. As I grew older I realised that I will always respect and appreciate both cultures as a part of who I am, but as Natonek mentioned, it is difficult to preserve one’s mother tongue in a foreign country. Our primary language spoken at home is German, yet I find myself talking Turkish just for the sake of keeping the language alive in my memory and as a way of holding on to it as a part of my identity.

  • zhongliang lin says:

    “In search of myself” is a meaningful article that highlights the Natonek’s refugee experience. It reveals the close relationship between language and identity, including how books contribute to the construction of personal identity. This article also highlights the library’s Importance, including its indispensable role in a multicultural context. In fact, I had never realized this difference until I came to Australia. Because China is not a multicultural country, I think the library plays a more important role in Australia than China, especially for overseas immigrants.

  • Ngoc Hiep says:

    It is truly a heart-touching story shared by the author, which can be predicted by just reading the book’s title “In search of myself”! The author’s fleeing journey was absolutely not a plain sailing as he himself felt lost his original identity in a new country. Fortunately, he could finally find out his past moments of life time through library’s services, to some points! In this context, libraries demonstrate their significant roles not only in making up one’s new identity, but in searching for on the one hand and in sustaining her/his identity on the other hand!

  • Au says:

    The problems that the author mentioned make me think of my own problems as an international student. I partly can understand the feeling of meaninglessness of my first language in an English speaking country and the disconnection with new environment. Although I love my mother tongue, sometimes when I had trouble to give explanation to others about what I want to say, I wish I was born with an English background. I have studied English for over 10 years, when I first came to Australia; people sometimes do not understand the English that I speak. At that time, I felt so disappointed about myself, but then it becomes motivation for me to keep improving my English and not to satisfy with my current English.

  • Piiigah (kamali) says:

    Nanek writes: The mother language does not transport nor grow nor bloom under alien skies.” For Nanek who fled his mother country, this would have been a painful and even traumatic experience that he would have faced every day. It goes to show how important these things are for people, especially those in a new country, in the way that it makes up our identity and our sense of self. Nanek further feels this by having lost the respect he had gained in his home country. It’s a clear way of showing how difficult it can be to change countries or culture, either by force or by choice. Fortunately, he found some comfort in the public library where he found elements of the familiar.

  • Marie says:

    For Natonek, the public library served as a monastery where he enjoyed being lost in books, learning about his past and looking into the future. For others, public libraries could be a sanctuary, an asylum, where anyone can seek peace from the outer world and surrender to the deepest selves. It is hard to imagine what it must have been like for those who lost everything in wars and had to fight or flee for the sake of their lives. I can only get a glimpse of the wartime reality through books or hearsays, which is nowhere near the real deal. My father was born in the year the Korean War broke out. He keeps quiet whenever the subject arises, but after a few drinks he would occasionally let me in on the time after the war. Often the situations were unimaginable – the scarcity of everything – considering him and I are only a generation apart. Every time he talks about his past, he mentions how the books at the school library kept him focused on the future and guided his dreams. The library was his sanctuary from the reality.

  • student says:

    When overseas, we all know that books in our own language are a precious link to home. However, I’ve never considered the importance of minority language books in plurilinguistic countries.

    Consider Spain. A plurilinguistic nation, Spain has one official language (Castillian Spanish), four co-official minority languages, and several regional languages. These minority languages were banned during the dictatorship. In the 40-odd years since the return of democracy, minority languages have been enjoying a revival, assisted by minority-language books. I imagine that finding these books in a public library must be a real joy to native speakers!

  • Gab says:

    This blog post has shown the importance of library in search for identity. Libraries are good sources of truth and hidden identities. As a young professional in my country, questions appear in my head whenever I hear and read articles (seemingly never-ending propaganda) against our former presidents. It is not my thing though to comment and react to negative things that I hear and read. Instead, I go to libraries and find articles and writings that are real accounts of what happened in the past – our history and our identity. With the library and wide array of books that are available in it, my beliefs and search for the past (my country’s history) are affirmed and eventually brings light to the questions in my mind.

  • N_W says:

    After I read the article, I am quite interesting in it and want to explore this book too. According to the article, this book “In search of myself” presented the life of the author, Hans Natonek while he was emigrating to other countries in the period of Nazies war. Moreover, this book make me think about the truth that if the writers lack of their identities no matter how, they tend to lose their reliability (of readers) on their writing too and also the important of professional of author identities. As Natonek, he felt like he lose his professional identity and language after he moved to New York which is very sad.

  • Yang says:

    International students sometimes just like a kind of “refugees” who are studying (as living) in a different country, which the cultures and languages maybe totally different from their home country. The article describes in detail with the migrating experiences of Hans Natonek’s such as the differences of languages, customs and preferences etc. Just same as the international students. They have to face many challenges when they first come to a strange country. They learn to understand the cultural differences, learn to communicate with others in a second language. Students sometimes afraid to open their month to speak just because of the grammar mistakes, the different logic flows, or the misunderstanding of conversations. However, they are working hard in their studies and trying to get into the community. When different cultures cross together, different opinions or ideas will appear, it can improve the skill of critical thinking, and help each other to learn from the differences.

  • Luv says:

    I really enjoyed this post as it reflects what he experienced as a migrant forced to leave everything behind. At the same time, it lets us know that not everything is lost and we can find the ways of bringing it back. He is the result of his past and that will never change. His new conditions might make him adapt and learn how to embrace his evolving identity, which has been shaped by his experiences, as a way of giving him the strength to keep fighting for his beliefs and express it through his powerful words. Thanks for sharing his story with us and for reminding the significance of these public places that could let us reminisce about home.

  • Salam Moussa Oghli says:

    It seems like a significantly inspirational and moving memoir with a genuine voice, relatable stories, situations and self-reflection that transcend time across all cultures, as the majority go through the process of finding their self-identity in new environments and the best console is the realisation that another person went or is going through the same challenges. It is interesting how not only he found solace in the library but also traces of his past literary achievements.

  • yuki says:

    “In search of myself” is a meaningful article, which puts an emphasis on the refugee experience. Based on his refugee status, Natonek realizes a close connection between language and identity. In particular, his L1 language and identity does not match with his new language and identity in different countries that he moved to. It can be said that the similarities and differences in two different communities help him adapt himself to the new environment and live in harmony with other members of that country. Additionally, it is a way for not only Natonek but other refugees to search for themselves.

  • Adia says:

    This article shows the strong relation between language and identity. A person can grow his or her sense of belonging to certain group and to define his or identity with languages. This is amazing when people, especially immigrants or refugees can find themselves through books, where the histories are written in their native language and become a great solace. This is why we cannot neglect the role of public libraries in facilitating the communities to find educational resources and to know their cultural heritages. So, everyone has a chance to access the resources that can be very influential for their identity. Again, this also shows the power of literacies.

  • Natalie says:

    This article makes me think deeply about the seriousness of the situation which those refugees like Hans Natonek, the author of In Search of Myself, as I have rarely met refugees in my life. As it is embarrassing for me to say, I didn’t think much about them either. However, after reading this article, I came to realize that those refugees went through difficulties in finding their identities because of their sad history and experience and in terms of language, they must also have become sensitive about what they talked or wrote as they were scared of being assailed by Nazis. I would like to know more about them so that I can more deepen my understanding and knowledge about them.

  • Orpheus says:

    This is such a moving article. It is without a doubt that there exists a strong relationship between literacy and identity. In other words, individual can find part of themselves, their own identity, through literacy and the language itself. I am so glad and delighted when I know that Natonek finally found some healing from the books he found at the library. This also shows the undeniable importance of libraries as they can be considered the places for people to come to seek for their own identities.

  • Naoya says:

    This article has changed my mind concerning value of books in a better way, especially how books contribute to construction of individual identities. As many people consider books to be not only enjoyable but also informative resources, I also took it for granted that books were used for hobbies or ways of getting access to various information. I did not even contemplate a significant role of books for identity. This is because I have not had experienced being a refugee or getting to know such a person in my life, which deprived me from a precious opportunity to learn the other side of books. Personally, I do not like reading books, but I will try to spend more time on reading from now on to learn someone else’s experiences indirectly.

  • Ann says:

    It is worth at least to read a valuable blog post commemorating the library and information week! Thank you professor pillar!
    Through the story of Natonek who had to migrate and struggle, readers realise the importance of a library. Natonek was survived because of the services done by libraries. Library is like an ambulance. In a way it treats people, actually strong medicine to our brains. There is no age or cultural difference. When i migrated My family was benefited from the library in Granville. We are very lucky to get these facilitates free of charge. In this point i feel sad about the libraries in developing countries. Some consumers do not take responsibility of proper use.While I was doing my TESL, I got the experience of someone stealing a book which was borrowed from the library at National Institute of Education in Sri Lanka. There are some issues that we should pay attention. People should use their brain as well as heart!

  • Shaher Mohammed S Asiri says:

    According to this article, it shows how the feeling of leaving one’s home and the negative consequences on the people who had left their home. Those effects can impact on one’s language and identities in which it is not easy for a person to abandon for him/her values, cultures, and even mother tongue language.
    Here, I can see how libraries play an important role for preserving individuals’ properties and rights.
    As I have noticed in this article that Natonek found his resources at Macquarie university in which his books have been recorded. This article has highly shown the prominence of libraries and its role to remain and reserve cultures and rights for individuals as what happened to the author of this article.

  • Natalie Estrella says:

    ”I love my own mother tongue, but I recognize with sadness that separated from the soil in which it roots it must wither.” (p.158)

    This is such a beautifully written sentence that compares language to an uprooted plant perfectly depicting the pain and despair that must come with finding yourself in a place where your language is not considered as valuable as it once was, without the ‘soil’ or people and culture to sustain it. This clearly led to a sense of powerlessness and a significant loss of identity for Hans Natonek that is inevitable when it is no longer possible to use one’s mother tongue for daily communication purposes. Although a library that offers opportunities for multilingual literacy practices could never fully reinstate this lost power or identity, it can, as we have seen in this blog, provide a glimmer of hope and happiness highlighting the importance of public institutions such as libraries in multicultural communities.

  • Bookself says:

    The extract “The mother language does not transport nor grow nor bloom under alien skies. It is, at best, no more than a memory to be used on occasion to recall a friendship or another life.” really left me thinking as my experience in Australia is my first separation for such a long time from my country and sometimes it does feel like the past was a different life, as if I had been a different person back then. For Hans Natonek and, probably for many migrants and refugees it is hard to find a sense for belonging to a place. At point is when books and libraries can help relieve a soul that has lost its course.

  • Nasser says:

    University libraries, public libraries or any learning spaces are equipped with furniture, digital tools, events, workshops, study spaces and myriads of resources. They provide an opportunity for adults, children, students and the general public to avoid social isolation and get involved in face-to-face interaction and collaboration for a wide range of purposes.
    Take Moreland City Council libraries in Victoria as an example. They offer numerous activities for people of different ages and cultural backgrounds. If you take a quick look at the library website, you will find children’s activities, book groups, reading workshops, story writing competitions, presentations and communities of practice.
    Follow the link below:
    http://www.moreland.vic.gov.au/libraries/library-events-and-activities/upcoming-library-events/

    The story of Hans Natonek losing his ‘self’ due to migration trauma was quite awe-inspiring. Arguably, his acculturation would not have taken place if he had not found his niche in the public library. Thank you, Ingrid, for sharing it; I wonder if the digital book could be accessed by Macquarie University students?

    • Ingrid says:

      Hi Nasser,
      Unfortunately, I was never able to discover whether the digitized version really exists or how to access it … let us know if you have better luck 🙂
      Best wishes,
      Ingrid

  • Karly says:

    The article helps to illustrate the importance of libraries and their role in maintaining culture, identity and history in such a technologically advanced and dependent period in our history. Not only can literacy and libraries provide healing and comfort for Natonek, the author of the article also found a lot of happiness in the fact that he was able to find a copy of the book (and to his surprise a hard copy) through a University.

  • Mark says:

    I must admit, these reading challenges and topics and reading about the value that this person placed on reading, writing and identity, induce a sensation of guilt. It has been too long since I read books for ‘pleasure’, instead it has been solely for work or study. The poetic way in which he bemoans the push for the rapid adaptation to the American way of thinking was beautiful, I haven’t read a text like that in a long time. Instead it has been joyless methods and discussion sections of quantitative journal articles and technical descriptions of the development of a child’s language. I do believe that it is time to engage in one of these reading challenges, and rediscover the more spiritual and emotional side of literacy.

  • Lai Ng says:

    It is an article about a challenging journey of L2 acquisition from a mature European migrant, Natonek. At first, Natonek has a sense of sorrow on his cutoff of his former language. He associates his L1 with his social status, history and identity. He tries hard to reinvent himself in English, in another word, he tries his best to integrate into the English community and transform himself into part of it. he finds that the growth of L2 cannot be proportionally replaced the loss of his L1 usage, in practical and mental. Later, he is so grateful that we can recover from such loss in the library. With the help of library and the Internet, Natonek can fulfill his dream in literature in his very late age. This is an interesting article as we can do the same as he does.

  • Haley says:

    I think this article highlights the plight of many refugees and immigrants and the issues that most people face in expressing themselves in a second language. I have heard many people mention the difficulties they have in really saying what they mean in languages other than their mother tongue. In a bilingual country or situation this may be less frustrating, but for people that have to mostly operate in their second language, this can be a very frustrating and isolating experience, as this article illustrates.

    It is wonderful that he found some connection and healing in the library, but I think it also highlights that there needs to be work done to help people in this situation to adapt and settle in their new countries.

    Obviously, there will be a great lot of pain and loss in general in the case of refugees. The thing compounding that loss in some cases is the additional loss of social standing. Someone who is a well respected doctor in their home community may end up working in jobs with a perceived lower status in their new country, i.e as a taxi driver. Their lack of complete mastery in a new language may have others view them as less intelligent than they actually are, which may compound their ability to adapt to a new life.

  • Arnon says:

    In search of myself is the book which shows the refugee experience and effort to learning language that demonstrates the professional identity. When I read the article, I can realise the importance of the public library which is the beginning of literacy knowledge and can be found solace for all people. Hans Natonek’ history shows that his enthusiasm and effort that inspires me to reinvent in English #findourselves

  • Preeya says:

    According to this article, In search of myself, Hans Natonek’s life presents language as a social practise which influenced by living in different areas. Identity is a main construct through diversity in relationship. Natonek was a learner who interact in English as a second language in American cultural system and participated in his shaping of identity (individual action – beliefs, values, discourse, and background of knowledge). Also in the context, library is a beneficial place to promote cultural and language diversity by collaborating with local people, especially multicultural citizens. Natonek continued to write his new book in the New York Public Library. To conclude, I realised that in the cross-cultural communities, adaptation in language skills and cultural identities is very important. However, people cannot disregard own person’s identities that express person consciousness.

  • J.J says:

    While reading this article, I realise that language is not only a tool to communicate with others but an important means to establish people’s personal, cultural and national identity by using their languages. Before, I have read the news article about a person who was adopted to the United States. He said that the reason why he visits the library is to read books about the country where he was born in order to find his root and real identity. He mentioned that while learning the language with the books, he learned more about who he is. As this news article, a library can be a place where people find their identities by providing books.

  • Luis Torres Vasquez says:

    This article is quite moving, and I certainly relate to it for different reasons. Leaving one’s country is always a tough experience. Besides the cultural shock, the feeling of not belonging is perhaps what one may be struck the most by, and if on top of that, a language barrier is added, one may certainly feel overwhelmed, secluded and without identity. And it is perhaps, in those circumstances, that writing may serve the purpose of devils’ redeemer, a way to expel what one has deep down inside and it has not been revealed yet, or even to untie that knot one has in his chest. I used to be a writer (I haven’t written anything in a while) and even published a book, so I clearly remember the feeling of trying to overcome a situation, a personal stage, a deep rage by the beautiful mean of words. Also, I used to teach literature, and studying writers’ biographies and literary productions gave me a wide perspective on the struggle of the human condition. In that context, libraries should definitely be celebrated because they are the places where a novice writer, a passionate reader or just a puzzled and confused human being can find himself through the thousand of stories libraries guard on their bookshelves.

  • Kaneko says:

    This story is quite moving in that Mr. Natonek finally found himself in the library under the harsh condition where he was literally “in search of himself “ after he fled from Nazi’s domination and his suffer from the gap between his inner self as a German and the outside environment in the US. Libraries are crucial in maintaining their own cultures and locating their identities through enriched literature. Even in this society where printed books change into electronic formats, I hope libraries will continue to be the place where resources with various cultures are available at any time.

  • Thet says:

    This touching narrative of a writer as a refugee depicts the role of language politically and socially. From his story, it can be said that for a person, his or her mother tongue means more than a language: an identity, a value, a culture and an existence. It can be argued that there is always a tension between struggling to adapt the conditions to become its member and maintaining one’s original existence.
    It is notable that a public library values what is to be valued and in turn, a public library is to be valued and to be developed. Finally, it can be seen that technology also plays an important role in keeping written works. In other words, this the digital era has changing effects on literacy.

  • Pegah Marandi says:

    Dear all,
    Very impressive and touching blog specifically when it came to this part: “By the time Natonek arrived in New York shortly before his 50th birthday, the loss of his previous existence and the long years of constant danger and insecurity had taken their toll: “Flight softens the morale. To escape is to arrive nowhere. Escape is a negative, a fallacious rescue. Every fighter knows that. We are all fighters” (p. 68). These sentences are so touching and painful that I cannot stop thinking about them. Migrating to another place (preferably context) is so hard and challenging that one does not really know to which culture s/ he belongs to. This reminds me of Homi Bhabha, a famous critic in Post Colonialism, who coined the concept of “Hybridity” to show how hard it is for children who migrate and do not know to which culture they belong to: Target or source (current country or mother country). This field is of my extreme interest, for I love identity versus any significant theory such as literacy.
    With regards,
    Pegah

  • Thuy Linh Nguyen says:

    I’m very happy that at the end, you can find the copy of the book. In addition, I find the benefits that technology brings to us. I find it very convenient today that we can read online or get e-books if the books we are interested in are no longer published. It is such a good way to preserve not only books but also our history and cultures.

  • gab88 says:

    That was a moving article which really struck a nerve. Thank you, Ingrid. Being from an immigrate family who moved to Australia after the war, it was easy to relate the issues that Hans faced to my grandfather’s situation. The identity struggle which he endured back then can easily be relatable to the immigrates of today.
    How can we as Australians help bridge the gap between the past and future of new Australian’s especially for refugees. With that being said, one great thing about being Australian is the multicultural acceptance of the majority. We understand that leaving everything behind for a better life and future cannot be easy. Like Hans, I guess you leave a bit of your identity too.

  • Cja says:

    Such a moving piece of writing. Ingrid! The story of Natonek makes me feel touched inside. It helps me to realize the strong relationship between literacy and identity, and more importantly, the power of literacy and language on our soul and spirit.
    Luckily, when I first came here, I did not feel much lonely or isolated. Instead, I find myself quite quickly adapt to Australian lifestyles. And somehow, I still feel connected to my own community as Australia is a multicultural country and so welcome to newcomers. I will definitely never lose my identity as I will always keep my home country traditions and would love to exchange knowledge of my culture and even language to other friends.
    I have just had a look at the reading challenge and find a recommendation from other’s comments particularly interesting. Probably I will try to read that and share with you what I get soon! Thanks for the inspiration.

  • Yao says:

    This is a moving article. I deeply understand that literacy is not just some written words, literacy can be regarded as the connection between individuals and communities. People can find their identities through literacy and languages. For example, I was shopping in a bookstore or reading in a library in Sydney. When I found some Chinese books, I would definitely feel a sense of belonging even Australia is not my home country. But I still have the courage to study and live here. Also, libraries are a really good place for ” searching myself”.

  • Sunny says:

    There is an commen sense in Chint, that is by reading book can change a person’s bones. This means that an individual will looks different if he/she read a lot. I think this is relating to ones identity. Identity should be a integral thing, rather then partial. A person’s identity can be viewed from his action, clothing, language and even facial expression. All these things are kinds of choices and people make these choices consciously or unconsciouly, but the choices people made can express ones internal world to some extent. Therefore, according to common sense, people who read more or who have rich knowledge turn to be more polit, modest and inner peace.
    Using my own example, after I came to Australia, I went to a public library in Eastwood several time. I don’t know why every time when I walk in I would have a sense of peaceful. I also crazy about go to the library of our university. Because I cannot study in my home, but when I go to the library I could.
    I hope the real books and the library will not be replaced by the technology and I belive these will not happen.

  • Van Le says:

    This article with the introduction to Natonek’s book “In search of myself” is such a touching one as it has helped me to realize the interrelation of writing and identity, the importance of language on defining one’s self and position. Moving to another country requires a lot of adaptations and changes externally and internally. However, a person should never forget his or her roots as it is a part of their identity. Also, thanks to the efforts of libraries, we now can still access the great works of great minds and realize our true selves, too.

  • Farzaneh Morovati says:

    Hello,

    This blog was really interesting as it introduced a refugee with his past experience of escaping.
    It was mentioned that the migrant’s identity and former language have become nonsense and meaningless to him due to his (many) movements to different countries. It is easier to present your real voice and social stance more confidently in a community you belong to and make improvements. Although he was in search of his real self and uncertain status, he could write his book. In my opinion, one aspect of the identity is related to who you really are and who you present independent of the surrounding conditions and the other aspect of that is how you nourish your voice and stance in relation to your social involvements and frameworks of communities (making adaptations). The migrant, I guess, was in loss of both types, (he had nearly lost his past and identity, so making new identities in new communities would be so demanding) but he could demonstrate his healing power of ideas. Another interesting point was about the availability of the book nowadays and even the migrant’s grandfather book in the past time. It shows that the written records are much more valuable than oracy, since they can provide the forgotten histories of the past for the coming generations by some details.

    Thank you
    Farzaneh Morovati

  • Wendie LIU says:

    The library and information week pointed by Professor Ingrid Piller reminds us the essential importance of the stances and the information service professionals in Australia. Simultaneously, it recalled my memories back to my childhood, i was pretty obsessed with reading lots of books about Chinese history, literature, poems and realistic stories when I was a high school student since a large number of books were available for me to reach in my home, in which was a decent and tiny “library” for me at that time, thus I assume that is an inextricable reason why I am still so engaged in this particular hobby up to now. Without that decent, tiny and well-equipped “library”, probably it is impossible for me to generate such huge passion for those attractive books, by means of which they had a profound impact on my character-building and mind-processing.

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